Feminism And Women's Rights

Muslim Bride Islam Marriage Husband Wife



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Muslim men are required to financially support his family including any offspring. His wife is not required to work or contribute financially in any way. Even if she is well off she does not have to share her wealth with her husband. She retains her family name and her legal responsibility. The wife is allowed to work but only if she chooses to, but it is solely the husbands responsibility to feed, shelter, provide adequate health care and clothe her. He should fulfil the agreement made before the marriage as quickly as possible.

A Muslim women is seen as a sacred object, one with high morals and high faith in her religion. There is nothing more the husband wants then to come home from work and relax in the loving comfort of his wife and children in their own little sanctuary. He should not let work, his friends or his leisure activities take all his time away from her. She is to be treated with the same high regard and respect that his mother had been treated.

He should make himself as desirable to her as he can but also keeping within the Islamic traditions. He shall respect her right to have her own opinion when it comes to matters of the household and support her when she needs someone to confide in. He shall help in the upkeep of the home and have a positive input into raising their children.

These are the ideals of how a Muslim man should treat his wife, but sadly, like in many other countries this does not always occur. The divorce rate is climbing due to the way the husbands are treating their wives. Many people have different theories as to why this is the case. Mostly it points towards the cruel acts of a husband onto his wife. If a man is raised from a boy and has seen his own father mistreat his mother then more then likely he will grow up thinking that it is okay for him also to mistreat his own wife through mental and physical abuse. If, along the way, the man wishes to have a second wife he should consult his wife first so there will be no ill feelings later on. Also, he should treat each wife as equally as possible. The Muslim law allows a wife to divorce her husband if he has an alcohol addiction or if he is physically abusing her. Even after the divorce has gone through the husband is still required to support her financially and emotionally.

If the man's Muslim wife is accustomed to having a maid in the house he should provide one for her if it is financially liable. The Muslim bride should at all times ensure that her husband's well-being is taken care of, she should guide him in the traditions of their religion if she feels he has lost his way. She must never deceive her husband by having sexual relations with any other man. While the husband is away from the home, she must not have the company of a man or men in her home without the approval of her husband. Do not humiliate or scold the wife in front of other company, including the children, for this will ignite the flame of hatred in her heart and in the heart's of others that hear it.

Husbands should feel obliged to spend on his wife if she makes herself available to him when he wants. If the Muslim wife cooks a badly tasting meal do not get upset with her, it is best to say nothing. Thank her as she tries her best to please her husband. If the husband has hurt her feelings, apologize to her let her know she is loved. Most of us find it hard to hold our tongues but more then likely those feelings fade within minutes, if you have nothing nice to say it is best not to say anything at all. Place trust and faith in her, imagine her as the foundation of a golden temple everyday growing into something more spectacular.

Too much joking around with the Muslim wife and children may lead to the loss of respect to the husband and father so it is important to find the balance. Wear cologne for her and remove hair from the groin and underarms. Wake her up in the last third of sleep to pray. Help her family if you are able to by giving them money or physical labor. Ensure that the wife is suitably dressed before leaving the home.

Have a place in the home where there is enough room for the husband and wife to pray together, make this a special place and away from the general traffic that comes through the home. Light candles there and have aromatic scents wafting through that room where the two can go daily there to pray. The husband should allocate a time period that he will be free for his wife to give her his undivided attention, this time could be used for playing games or talking openly with each other.

Allow the Muslim bride to have her own finishing touches to the home as this is seen as her kingdom. Discuss with her first any changes you are wanting to make to the home. If the husband must place punishment upon his wife because she has ignored his advice do so by not laying with her at bedtime but do not ignore her entirely. Avoid being bitter towards her but also keep the balance of ensuring the wife has learned her lesson.

Before entering the home after being away do not enter without her being aware that you are there and greet her kindly, ask her how her day was. Never talk about the intimate encounters that take place with the bride to other people, this is strictly forbidden. Treat the wife's family with the same respect and kindness that she is treated. A good gift to give to the wife would be a book on the religious teachings, a wooden box for her to store her holy book in, a nice scarf to wear with her hi-jab or a fruit hamper.

In the bedroom some Muslim women find it hard to express what they do and don't want when it comes to sexual intercourse, it's important to keep the lines of communication open here and watch for her reaction when you touch her or kiss her in certain spots. It is forbidden for husband and wife to have sexual relations when she is menstruating. A passage from the Qur'an reads:

They ask you about menstruation. Say: "Menstruation is a discomfort (for women. Do not establish sexual relations with them during the menses and do not approach them (sexually) until the blood stops. Then when they have cleansed themselves, you go into them as Allah has commanded you."
(2:222)

So to do so is going against their religion. If a husband is in the middle of sexual relations with his wife and realises that menstruation has begun, he must immediately stop. Sexual intercourse is not allowed within the first 10 days of her having a baby and in the daytime during the month of Ramadhan. There are also other times when sexual intercourse is not allowed and these include scary natural occurrences such as an eclipse or wild weather, the last
three nights of the lunar month, the night before the 15th of every month and after becoming junub. A wife should feel obligated to have sexual intercourse with her husband at least once every four months. There are no restrictions placed on the sexual positions that the husband and wife use as long as they both agree to it and it is pleasing to them both.

More about this author: Rachael Spires

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