Personal Morals And Values

How Hatred can Consume you

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"How Hatred can Consume you"
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Hatred. It's a dark subject that no one wants to talk about or admit to; but it's true that it can consume you, if you let it.

I'm not referring to the kind of hatred where one says something like, "I hate when that happens," referring to an occurrence such as having an umbrella blow inside out. No, I'm talking about out and out hatred, usually of another person.

The people involved can be family, coworkers, friends, etc. It doesn't count to hate people you don't even know, such as Simon Cowell on American Idol, because obviously, you don't know him, and he might actually have some good qualities.

I'm speaking here of hatred that may be caused by many different things. One of these things can be envy. Example: A relative wins the lottery after buying his first ticket. You've played for twenty years and won nothing but a few free tickets. You feel enraged at the knowledge that this upstart could have won when it should have been you! You can't stand the sight of him anymore. The thought of him even makes you sick.

Bigotry is another cause of hatred that is totally misplaced. Perhaps you were born into a family that absolutely cannot tolerate people of another particular race or nationality. If this is second or third generation, you need to ask yourself if this is truly your feeling, or if you are just following suit because it is expected. True bigotry can lead to hate crimes. If you are even considering this against another, you need help because your hatred is consuming you, whether you realize it, or not.

Another cause of hatred can be jealousy. For instance, if you find out your husband has been cheating on you with his beautiful secretary, you may feel hatred for him, or her, or both. This is understandable because you have been betrayed by the person you thought you could trust most in the entire world. But is it really hatred? More than hatred, it is probably hurt and shock at what has happened.

No matter what the situation, if you are feeling hatred for some reason, know that it is harming you both physically and mentally. Things you can do to remedy these effects are to force yourself to put the subject of your hatred out of your mind. If necessary, find a substitute activity every time you think of this person, or do something physical and tire yourself out so you won't have the energy to think about them.

However, if you find you are totally consumed with this hatred and can't do anything to change it, I recommend you seek counseling to help you get over it. No one should have to live with a consuming hatred that damages them more than anyone else.

More about this author: Linda Joyce

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